We are all ‘of two minds’ in a sense: we have this thing I’ll call the intellect (or “ego” if you prefer), which is what most of us mean when we say “mind.”
And it spends all its time thinking. It’s trying to keep us safe. It’s deciding, concluding, analysing. It’s the one that makes the pro/con lists. It’s so hard-working. It wants only to serve us.
And most of us let it do that and more — we let it take over. We unwittingly hand over the reins, because we *think* it knows best. Well, also, we don’t actually know there’s another option, that there’s anyone else for the job.
But there is.
There is Life itself, Intelligence itself. It’s who we are beyond all of that thinking and concluding. And it’s what we’re searching for, ultimately. It’s us in all our fullness.
We ‘know’ this intuitively ... and actually, intuitive is a good word to bring in here … because that is the word we give to knowing something without knowing how we know … in other words, without using logic.
So.
We have developed a lot of concepts over the course of our lives, which is to say, we’ve created a whole bunch of stories. Like, a lot. We've been busy crafting the story of “me,” of “I.”
And how are you liking that so far? Is it a story that you’re loving?
I’m going to guess no.
I’m going to guess that you’re seeing yourself as a constant work in progress, as not measuring up in various areas, as letting yourself down. And so you’re feeling like a failure sometimes.
You’re hard on yourself but it’s in the name of being better, of creating the life you want for yourself. So you’re pushing … a little or a lot. Reaching for. Achieving.
And nothing is ever quite enough. You’re still waiting for things to all lock into place, for the puzzle to be completed so you can be happy, feel fulfilled, let yourself off the hook.
And maybe, even (if you’ve heard of it), put your attention on the present moment … instead of this imagined future.
Did I get it right?
If so, it’s because I know this story well. It’s the Story of Us. It’s how we all go about life.
So, in short, the mind will not get you there. Everything you want … including everything you want to know, is on the other side of mind.
In other words, you can’t think your way there.
Einstein knew this. Which is why it’s so ironic that he’s the poster boy for the intellect. He knew the rightful place of the intellect. It’s meant to serve, not be the master. The master is something — someone — something … else entirely.
And until you experience this as a truth, as a knowing, within yourself, you won’t be happy. Another way of saying you won’t be at peace. Your true self — your inner being, we could say — will be calling to you.
And as long as you continue to believe the story of you, or any other stressful thoughts about any aspect of life at all, you will feel that as something missing.
And you will reach for things that you think will fill that emptiness within you.
And since we’re very practiced at suppressing how we feel, you might not know it’s an emptiness … you might just call it stress. Some call it depression. Or anxiety.
You just need your soulmate! That must be it. Or if you’ve got that, then it must be the job /career that’s not quite right. Definitely more money would solve it. Or maybe it’s where you’re living.
There will always be something in the world ‘out there’ that seems so convincingly missing.
And it can never be.
It can only ever be you who is missing.
Not the image of you, but you as you were when you were young, pre-image.
Okay, so let’s take this onto the mat, into a practical example …
Take anything in your life that, if you could change it, you know would make you happier. (If you pick the biggest thing I’m going to guess that you believe it would make you MUCH happier.)
Found it?
Okay, so, it won’t.
It won’t make you happier.
I know your mind will convince you. I know it’s the most compelling argument there ever was. And yet it’s still not true: it's just a way to keep the story of a future fulfillment alive and keep you out of being aware of the present moment.
Try this: think back on your life and find, if you can, a few things that you were so sure if you could just get them, make them happen, you’d be happy. And how do you feel about them now?
The satisfaction doesn't last so then we're on to the next thing, trying to add to our identity, to our sense of self.
We're trying to feel alive. Because we won't if we're not present -- here, now, aware -- in this moment.
Consider for a moment that what you actually want, beyond what you think you want, is to know who you are outside of this 'one' you've been living with all of these years since you were old enough to form an identity.
And consider that this is the same thing as saying that you want in on the mystery of all life ... of what we're doing here ... of what it all means.
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